Chronicles of a small town playboy – Chapter 5

Maftown is a great place to visit, not so much if you’ve lived there for almost three decades. That’s just my opinion. It’s the
playa haters that bother me most… Always hating on how a nigga play the game. Hate the playa… You know how the rest goes.

Liquor brings out the freak in most girls. Girls can drink you under the table if you give them Savannas and ciders, but bring out
the Vodka and Whisky and o tla bona why they say metlholo ga ya fela ka Jesu

This girl and her skeem that I always meet in Cafe 69 always tell me how they can drink me under the table, and how they always
drink guys and run away afterwards. She told me a story of how one of my neighbors and his friend took them to his house in Unit 2
Cul 7 bought them Nandos and 24 Savanna. She says they drank all the booze, ate the chicken and left them. When the dudes were
starting to talk about them sleeping over they said, “Nna my boyfriend is waiting for me at Dinangwe”, got up and then left them
with blue balls. This was when Dinangwe (next to Trendsetters salon) was still operational.

I still remember Dinangwe, it was my usual haunt cos I’d get hemp-af drunk and all I had to do was cross the street and I was home.

So organised that me and her crew get together with us so we can see if they really can drink anyone under the table.

I invited her and her friend, bought Skyy Vodka and Achers Schnapps for them while I drank Johnny Walker Black Label. This was back
when school kids didn’t drink it. We met up at Stunt’s place. He’s got a nice pad and there isn’t a lot of pubs in Rivierra Park,
where you can sommer decide you’re gonna walk to a pub and ditch us to get one of those old men to take you home after you tickle
their balls for 5 minutes.

So, we’re at Riviera PArk and the festivities begin. I tell them “We’re gonna play a drinking game, girls.” So we take out the 30
Seconds board and start playing. “The rules are simple, you lose a round you have to take a shot”. These must have been the dumbest
stock ever ‘cos they lost almost every round… And the Vokda went down their throats like water! Before the end of that vokda
bottle they we’re slurring their speech, spilling drinks and taking off their clothes.

One of them decides to go pee but I see she can’t walk straight. So I tell her I’m gonna walk her to the bathroom. When we get to
the bathroom she can’t take off her clothes and I have to help her out. That girl almost peed herself waiting to take off her
clothes! I know women have to wipe but I wasn’t about to do that shit, so I shouted at her friend to come help her. When I looked
away this girl fell flat on her face on the bathroom floor. The friend had passed out on the couch from that little time I had
walked to the bathroom, too. I put that girl’s clothes on without wiping and walked her to the bedroom. She passed out as soon as
she hit the bed. I wasn’t about to get acused of rape or some shit so we let them both sleep it off and went to Cafe 69. On our way
there we see this girl walking by herself to Cafe 69. “Hello mtwana, where are you going at this time of the night?” “69”, she
replied. “All by yourself? Come, let’s all go together”. On the way there she tells us how she had a fight with her boyfriend so
she’s too stressed to even think about dick tonight. “Dick?” We hadn’t even thought about banging this girl and already she’s
talking about banging.

We party it out at Club 69 with this girl. So Stunt says to the girl, “I think tonight we must just comfort you with some dick,
alcohol is not really working for you.” This is just trash talking to see where a girl is leaning, but she said yes!

So we took her back to Riviera Park. As she walks in she sees this girl passed out on the couch with liquor bottles around her. We
lead her straight to the bedroom where the other girl is passed out. Me and Stunt banged that girl, finger fucked her, DP’d (Double
penetration) her and made the loudest noise ever, meanwhile the other girl is passed out on the same bed that we’re doing this shit.

After all the ruckus she decides she’s had enough and we need to drop her off. So we leave the bedroom so she can clean up. She
meets us on the way out, but I had forgot my phone and go looking for it. “Stunt, I can’t find my phone”. “Just call it, Sipz” he
I dial my phone and can hear that it’s ringing… but where? I can’t see it. I listen closely and can hear it ringing. It sounds
like it’s coming from this girl we just banged. And it sounds like it’s coming from her pocket. I lean in and hear that it’s not
coming from her pocket. I reach into the front of her pants and the damn thing is vibrating in her pussy! Damn skank!

So we drop her off at the Sasol. “Sipz, I think that girl was a prostitute. She probably spun that story with the boyfriend and what
nots. How does someone just steal a phone and put it in her pussy?”

The next morning on Saturday we drop off the other girls. To this day they don’t want to drink with us anymore…

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