Chronicles of a small town playboy – Chapter 7

This isn’t the first, and most probably not the last, time me and Stunt have tag-teamed a girl. The best tag team in Maftown, I
reckon! From old women at Grab-a-Granny, to young stock at Club 69 and dosgy-looking girls from the villas at Graceland club. We
have done it all!

Now, this isn’t to say we can’t take girls one on one, but there’s something about tag-teams that just makes the whole thing more
exciting.

It ain’t no fun if the homies can’t none.

There’s something we haven’t tried before, and in hindsight, we probably should have not tried it at all. It all started when we
were smoking weed outside our favorite haunt: Cafe 69! We were minding our own damn business when these two girls asked to smoke
with us. I recognised them from Unibo, so it wasn’t a big deal. Pass it to the left because the right way is wrong. A little puff
and pass and the girls were giggling and had a McDonalds Happy Meal smile on them.

All of a Sunday a black GTI stops in front of us. “Sipz, segama ke wena”. It’s Stapura and OB again! “If it ain’t the blackest nigga
in town, and his fat friend smelling like magwinya”, I quip. “Sipz, what’s with you and our gals. You don’t have a woman and you
take other people’s? You will shit one day.” “Is that how you were born Stapura”, I retort. “Hey lona banyana ke lona, ke batlana le
lona the whole day kante you’re here smoking shit!”

These niggas are always trying to harass us and the girls we’re with. Stunt starts getting angry, “Ha le re bone le dipipi! We’re
busy here. Voetsek maan”. Stunt walks over to their car and starts pouring his beer over the car, “Voetsek maan!”

Stunt is hot-headed sometimes, but these niggas are always on some bullshit when they see us. It’s ON Like Donkey Kong! Stapura and
OB spring out of the car like crazed niggas. Stapura grabs a baseball bat from the boot of his car and heads straight to us. Stunt
jumps with a flying kick straight to Stapura’s face. Blaaargh! This farm boy falls flat on his ass! I head straight to this fat
bastard OB and kick him in his fat gut. Yeaaaaaah! Me and him are now in fisticuffs and as he goes down all I hear is the girl’s
screaming and running away. I look to my right as Stapura hits Stunt with the baseball bat, but Stunt blocks it with his forearm.
You could see blood right away from that blow. Stunt backs off and Stapura comes after with the bat, too. I karate block that shit
and it hits my wrist. But Stunt ain’t no bitch. Stunt starts to give it to this nigga and Stapura starts to run away with Stunt
chasing him. OB is crawling away and I start running after Stunt and stapura. My homie and I are hurt and but we’re gonna kill this
bastard if we gets a hold of him. “Stunt! Stunt!”, I scream. Stunt slows down and Stapura gets away from us.

He waits for me and we go looking for this nigga together. We went around what seemed like the entire suburb of Golfview looking for
this bastard.

When we come back we find Stunt’s car has broken windows with the sunroof crashed in, too. These scared bitches fucked up the car
when they couldn’t beat us in a fair fight. We get into the car and start driving to find these niggas.

“I swear I’m gonna kill them, Sipz! I’m gonna kill them with my bare hands!” I’ve never wanted to fight this nigga Stunt cos when he
goes crazy he goes insane!

“Oh Shit! Stunt, look at that girl’s ass!” “Sipz, it’s ladies of the night dude. Ke magosha” “But me and you have never DP’d a lady
of the night before.. essentially!”

I saw Stunt’s mood change from wanting to ravage niggas to wanting to ravage ass! We pull over and call her to our car. “Ke bokae?!”
“Hey, voestek lona” “Ao suster, we realy want to buy, come here” says Stunt as he pulls money out of his wallet. I guess it really
is a change in mission. “So where can we go?” She gets into the car and we drive around to the primary school around the corner.
It’s dark and we can see whoever is coming. We’re gonna DP this poor woman… One in the pink and one in the stink…

“Ouch, dude did you just pinch my dick?” “What the hell would I do that for Sipz?”. This is what I wake up to in the morning…
itchy privates. I sit up on the sleeper couch me and Stunt are sharing and start recounting the events of last night.

“Dude, last night was just too much for me, look at my wrist”, I say to Stunt. “Yeah dog, my arm is just throbbing with pain right
now”. I feel a pinch again in my groin “AAAAAAh, WTF was that?!” I take a peek into my boxer shorts and I notice something crawling
out! That bitch gave us crabs!

I run to the bathroom to check it out properly and I hear Stunt screaming too, “OOOOOOWw!”. He runs into the bathroom and shows me
he also found something in there. “I’m gonna have to shave my pubes, Sipz.” “How the hell are you gonna do that with a fucked up
wrist?!” “Sipz, I’ll hold the bits while you shave…” What will your brother say when he finds us shaving each other? What will be
my explanation? I have a limp wrist? WTF!

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