Top ten things to do while Twitter is down in South Africa

Twitter went down around 17:30 in South Africa (, and since we don’t have Twitter we don’t exactly know who is frustrated with it going down, who said what, what is Minnie Dlamini is doing right now, is Sizwe Dhlomo at his Cappello Buzz restaurant, or if the world has indeed come to an end.

Those who swore off Facebook please tell us, what do you do? Spend time with your family? Catch up with homework?

I’ve got a few things in mind:

  1. Clip my toenails. I don’t watch TV that much so some grooming would make the time pass.
  2. Complain on Facebook. I already told my friends on Facebook, and those that don’t bother with Twitter don’t give a toss, the others are livid!
  3. Charge the phone… and leave it there.
  4. Enjoy a meal without telling your followers about it.
  5. Skip a 10 minutes without seeing a tweet from Sizwe Dhlomo.
  6. Answer your mother’s text. Now you gotta pay attention from everyone else.
  7. Right down all the smart quips you were gonna tweet. Muhfucka can’t be down forever, can it?
  8. Notice the new painting on the wall. Now that you’re walking with you head up, you can start noticing shit on your wall.
  9. De-stress. Being the cool kid on Twitter is exhausting. Take a breather and stop being hard and telling other people how to live their lives.
  10. Take a dump without taking your phone. Impossible as it may sound, you can actually drop an album without your phone.

Now, what the hell am I gonna do with myself?

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